Drooling.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Wishes
Thursday, February 24, 2011
My birthday is coming in 2 weeks time. I'm wondering what should I get myself? I wanted some thing cool though.
Empty heart
Monday, February 21, 2011
I realize I've been doing the same thing everyday. Waking up during noon, go for brunch, return home, turn on the computer and starts staring at it. It's the same old routine, 7 days a week.
Never felt so empty inside of me. I've got no urge to do anything. Wanting to turn in early every night, but the thought of waking up early in the morning deters me from doing so. So in the end, I stare at the laptop not knowing what to do, till wee morning then head to bed.
Ok, maybe not purely staring, I still talk to people online, 1 in fact. I never like this feeling, still trying hard to overcome it. I couldn't even remember when it all started in the first place. And soon all these negative thoughts start entering my mind without warning, which is probably why I've written so many "emo" post lately. Pardon me for that, rush of inspiration I suppose? But definitely in the wrong way.
Now I don't even know how to end this post. How great. Good bye readers?
It's a Sunday morning
Sunday, February 20, 2011
It's another Sunday morning for my body, but not for my mind.
Soon, I realize they came in different approaches, mainly the soft ones and never the less the hard ones. Either they knock some senses into me with their words, or simple word of consolation, all with one intention- to make me feel happier.
I know I don't have to say it, but it's great being friends with all of you.
I suppose there are always ups and downs which we need to overcome ourself so as to achieve a greater level in life. Guess it's my turn this time around?
None the less, there are disappointing ones. I doubt they know who they are but never mind, you'll be out of my friends list permanently. Bye for life.
On a happier note, I've decided on doing something. It's positive, no worries. Credit to zx.
If it's that easy to hold
Saturday, February 19, 2011
I want to cry, wanting to cry so badly. =(
That's me
I've always find myself having difficulty in telling others about my problems, even if it's towards my best of friends. It's something that has been troubling me since ages. I'm sorry when I reply with only one word.
Funny as it may seems, people always see the jovial side of me, often that I portray. Maybe I hid it too well, they can't notice. It has become the greatest obstacles of my life. Be it, chatting over the net or talking face to face, often I can't speak up.
Perhaps that's just me. I don't know.
Stories
Everyday just manifest into another stack of irony and events tat you want to cry about that you eventually cramped your stomach and settled with a scoff.
You look at others plight and without hesitation compare to yours, wondering why they get to share theirs and yours are left visibly buried, thinking why you have problems yet you help them knowing till it'll never be a vice-versa thing.
Some situations as you hear them out, you secretly rather to be in that than your current situation. you hear their "stories" and you think it's just not fair. You stare at them knowingly it's a different genre of choice but still, you believe how much better you can do and be better off with that
You listen but you don't get the story.
Across
Friday, February 18, 2011
It was always so hard to transit and to cross over, attempts to make the change, to throw some away and wish for new ones. Yet so it seemed so flawless and clear in the beginning till the blurry side stretches further than you can believe.
It's seems so funny how things just goes against you like you were meant to fail,
Midnight Fantasy
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Maybe it's just me, but the reason, the truth of why we stay up late into the night or early into the morning, is not just because we don't want the day to end but the looming darkness that present itself upon us, sparkles an undeniably charm, a jewel of self-reflection, self pity, self deception, self fantasy is born within us during this period of time.
It strangely makes us think even clearer than usual, it rings a tune in our mind and heart, a tune of escaping, it's a moment where you're alone and you feel like it's another world, a world of peace and serenity, a world where it's truly your.
And with these, we're enstrangled and enticed into midnight fantasy.
=D
Monday, February 14, 2011
Sister condition is looking very promising. Happy brother I am!
101%
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Does it occurs to anyone that when you wanted to empty your heart out, no one is there for you. And you start ranting why isn't anyone out there for you to talk to.
But when the chance is presented right in front of you, you can never seem to open your hearts out.
I merely wanted someone whom can give me 101% of their attention to me for just an hour or less. Just one
love
Saturday, February 12, 2011
It appears that how much you're deny of the privilege, the more you tend to act up against that denial.
The more you're denied, The more you want to.
You know you weren't suppose to do it, you understood the fact that nothing good could come out of it, you know that you'll probably throw away much more then you would receive, You know all of these but in the end theres a maybe lying somewhere, a glimmer of hope that it would be different this time, a little light that you gain by deceit to yourself, and so you do it
The more you're restrained, The more you start to unleash
You've seen how it all went down countless of time yet this becomes a regular thing because of the fact that you're still searching, so each time you get a chance, you tell yourself, it might be the one, it would be the one time thats different, this one last try would work.. I guess none can defy this because of the fact that you're still searching for the one.
The more you shouldn't, the more you would
Don't get it.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Honestly, what do i talk about?
I realize when i'm with anyone, I seem to have so little topic to talk about, other than divulging in problems what else were there for me to chatter about? What were all the little small talks? Others seem to just indulge in conversations easily with all their superbly incredible knowledge of things, making others crack up with little spice jokes at times but how do they do that?
This was something I tweeted a couple of months back.
Look back
When you look back in your memories, deep inside somewhere, you knew of a person which started off from a stranger who you never thought of you would know and slowly with time as judge, you became friends or even good friends with.
As you got closer, you might think this person well but in fact you don't. That very stranger that became your friend, you slowly get repulsed and irritated with that friend of yours, and slowly you find that you unconsciously reject your friend that reluctantly tries to amend, but no, you don't ease up. You badger that friend even more, every word you deny and every action you brush away. Then you find the distance slowly enlarging, there's this barrier that momentarily formed after your constant signs of avoidance, then uncomfortness kicks in, the you find the friendship fades away. And slowly distant. Eventually disappear.
As you got closer, you might think this person well but in fact you don't. That very stranger that became your friend, you slowly get repulsed and irritated with that friend of yours, and slowly you find that you unconsciously reject your friend that reluctantly tries to amend, but no, you don't ease up. You badger that friend even more, every word you deny and every action you brush away. Then you find the distance slowly enlarging, there's this barrier that momentarily formed after your constant signs of avoidance, then uncomfortness kicks in, the you find the friendship fades away. And slowly distant. Eventually disappear.
It's painful
It really hurt the first time, please don't let me experience it again. It's really painful.
Night rain.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Do you stay awake at night, staring out the window, looking at the sky with a shade of crimson red? Signs telling us, it would rain in a short while as the smell of air changes to a pleasant moist smell of nature goes along with the gentle night breeze.
Perhaps the reason why the night rains seems so inducing and alluring, is because of how it reflects our tears inside, and we could feel comforted as it resembles as though someone understands and cries along.
Seems like we all cry a little at night, a little in our hearts.
Wonder
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
I wonder how it feels when the person you're always there for all the time, is not there for you?
Crank up
Perhaps I'm a little cranky right now, maybe might be an understatement. Neither do I want to feel this way. Maybe it's due to lack of sleep the previous day. I'm hungry yet I don't have the appetite to eat.
I simply don't know what's going on with me. Hormones imbalance perhaps?
Uncertainty
Some roads we see are bright and most of it paints out right before your vision, a clear cut path.
Some roads are much different, cluttered, untamed, deserted, abandoned, dark, intimidating.
It's usually so much easier to take the path which walks straight into things that you can expect things from, but no, you hardly ever take that path down because you're curious and so ever confident in the beginning, you take that godforsakened road thinking you'll make it out alive, thinking you'll conquer it regardless of its hazard.
Some people chose the right path and it leads them right out into an oasis of paradise, they got everything right but most people undermined this and takes the wrong one, and with each wrong turn, it brings them so much deeper into the darker forest, soon just to lose all the positivity they once had.
At some point in the journey, some will sit down with knees to their chest, wondering whatever made them decide on this. Sometimes they'll wonder if they'll ever get out like how they see so many other does, yet keep convincing that their luck wouldn't be that rotten to keep heading the wrong way.
Time
Monday, February 07, 2011
If time is all it takes, I'll wait
First Impression.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Ok, since I got reader complaining at me for posting emo and negative post, so I shall be positive for this time and post something nice for people to read.
How about my first impression on the people I know in the year 2010?
Lets start with ,
Ferinna aka bestie.
Knew her on FaceBook through her random friend request which I accepted of course.(I wonder what might happen now if I rejected that request)
First time I saw her was at Adm McDonald when we met for breakfast before heading to work. At first glance, I knew she like black a lot. Dress from top to bottom in black.
Putting that aside, she's a pretty nice person. Though we only chatted only for a couple of times on msn. Didn't know we share the same music genre until she start sending songs over. Countless I guess.
And of course, I can't forget about the joke from her. Epic. Came out so naturally. Definitely a cannot forget. Haha.
Actually, there's too much to write about. You know I know can liao. I really can't find a word other than bestie to describe her. Been great having her as a friend. Bestie FTW!
Kah Meng aka feifei aka bestie's bestie
If I remember correctly, the first time I saw him was at CWP when we had dinner at Pasta Mania before Ferinna and I head to the movie. Like, why so quiet. Talk more lah.
Oh oh, did know you can sing well ar. 说谎 might just be your 成名曲.
Weiwei
Ok, She is another one which randomly added me on FaceBook and of course I accepted it.
She added me because she finds me having some resemblance with one of her friend. Oh, I also didn't know she's in the same lecture with me after like 1 semester?
I can't believe I actually went to do the spot-the-people kind of thing during lecture to spot her.
Joanne
Weiwei's best friend. Also another person whom friend request I accepted on FaceBook.
Didn't know she lives in the same estate as me. How small can Singapore get man? Merely a couple of bus stop away.
Wanted to meet in school for the first time, and she didn't spot me neither did I. She even stood beside me. So much for crossing paths.
Zi Xin
Also another person whom added me on FaceBook and of course, I accepted the request. We were in the same GEMS class. And I didn't even notice her. First impression was, why so skinny man? Skinner than me.
And what's the best part? She's in the same course as Weiwei and that means we were all in the same lecture theatre. Talk about a small world.
Regine
First time I saw her was during the New Year countdown at Yew Tee square. She was a host down there. Her distinct hair color captures my attention. One look, I knew it was her, the lead vocalist of LGF, which happens to be a pretty good local band.
She added me on FaceBook, but we chatted more on Twitter instead. She seems to be pretty interested in my 5000th tweet, and so I shall be careful and dedicate my 5000th tweet to my fellow loyal twitter follower.
Nichol
Ferinna aka bestie's younger brother. Ah, how did I know him? I think I added him on FaceBook. Currently the youngest peeps in my peeps list. I thinks he rants most about is doing homework and I always ask him to do "referencing " in school. Good friend har.
Oh oh, first impression. Text me today when I was in the airport. And I quote"I am your friend". What a way to start a conversation. Maybe that's his style man. I bet it's not gonna work on girls. So if you're reading it, start with something more creative lah. Like that how to woo girl.
And so above are the peeps, I knew in the year of 2010. Surprisely, I knew all of them through FaceBook. Talk about connecting the world. I guess I won't know all this peeps without FaceBook.
One is all it takes
Friday, February 04, 2011
I'm willing to risk it all, will you give me that chance?
Grow up
Thursday, February 03, 2011
From the present we look back into our past, looking at how things was over or under done, thins are always done with insufficiency and regrets are always left as a trail for us to follow up.
Soon you realize if you think and reflected well enough, how things could have changed as you yourself have similarly changed, your perspective different, your attitude conversed, your feelings switched.
I found how pleasing and accommodating I once was, then I got sick and disgusted with how little gratification I receive back because I'm not a saint to do things without any want for rewards. I gave and never receive. I was passionate and never returned. I was forgiving and was not forgave.
Memory
Looking back,
I was naive
I was stupid
I was dumb
I was ignorant
I've made some bad choices
And now, I'm still the same as ever.